Thursday, August 28, 2014

Chasing the Astral Dragon

After a mere month and a half, I lost my Darkmaster title. However, I really couldn't care less since, this week, what once seemed like an RNG-ridden impossible dream at the beginning of this expansion has finally become virtual reality in the form of a dragon-shaped constellation with a certain warlock getting motion sickness on top of it.

After 125 kills, I finally tamed the great mechanical dragon Elegon, and he has been reborn into a stellar vehicle for the astral apotheosis of Starcaller Ayaliss; rider of the heavens, a celestial body cutting across the sky on a serpent made of stars, the ascendent hero freed by an eternal cosmic deity from the war and petty desires of earth to take her place in the glittering and infinite universe.

Yes, all of that foofy imagery was quite necessary because I GOT ELEGON'S MOUNT!!! And contrary to what other people might say, Mists of Pandaria is OVER!

-Starcaller Avia.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I'm getting ready to put some toys in my box.

Originally, I had planned to gripe about how yet another character that Blizzard told us was good is now turning into a villain, but then I got distracted by the collection-type organization of the Toy Box. Those sneaky bastards really know how to hijack my mind.

So I present to you, my cherished readers, the world's most basic spreadsheet: Avia's Toy Box.

Sample Usage. Keep track of what you have and where it is!

In this manually typed spreadsheet with no formulas whatsoever, I have listed all of the Toy Box items alphabetically and also by source for the purpose of making it easier to spend the next four months farming for them ahead of time. Get an early start while we're sitting around waiting for WoD and acquire all of the toys that drop from Pandaria rares before others realize they must also find meaning in their lives through filling in an online collection journal. Use this precious downtime to level a rogue on the opposite faction and pickpocket the entire world looking for a pair of dice for no other reason than making those sad, grayed-out space-holders light up in satisfying and gratifying completion. Stare longingly at the the few yet unreleased items and dream of the day when a follower returns to the garrison, bloodied and tired from from a soldier's mission, to place in one's hand the spoils of war... an autographed Hearthstone card.

One day...


P.S. Don't forget to tune into FinalBossTV one week from now for a chance to win a full heroic clear of Siege from my guild! Check this post for details.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

People who say they like this boss are LIARS!

It's been a seemingly nonstop few weeks of beta testing, and despite the inevitable bugs and a surprisingly large number of fights that feel exactly the same, it wasn't until yesterday that I ran into a boss that I actually think is awful.

a.k.a. Conveyor Assholes

So the entire raid has to move on a conveyor belt for half the fight? Well that's ok. If casters can't DPS, then the melee will take care of damage. OH WAIT! The boss jumps around like a wallaby on amphetamines, so they can't hit him either. I guess that's fine since the bosses don't have much health to make up for the fact that the entire raid is playing Frogger the whole time. That makes it ok.

Next tier, why not just make a boss that has 5 HP and have every player dodge fire for six minutes?


P.S. I love Frogger.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Crisp Presents... A Night You Will Never Forget...

Hey, everyone! I know you guys love hearing about my raiding antics, but wouldn't you rather be a part of the boss-killing and loot-whoring action? In celebration of our 7th anniversary, my often eccentric but always funzies guild, Crisp of Baelgun-US, is holding a community event and contest to give away a free full run of Heroic Siege of Orgrimmar to one lucky winner!

Click for full view

All you have to do is tune in to my guildie's show FinalBossTV on Tuesday, August 26th for a secret password. That will get you entered into a lottery drawing, and one person will win the grand prize of a full clear of H SoO, complete with priority on loot and a mount off Garrosh! People usually pay guilds hundreds of thousands of gold for runs just like this, but you can experience fourteen bosses of heroic-mode raiding with some of the most unique encounters ever made FOR FREE! Click here for full details.

Remember that the Kor'kron Juggernaut, like all other heroic-only mounts, will change from a guaranteed drop to a less than 1% drop chance when the content is no longer current. Taking advantage of this opportunity and making sure to acquire this mount now can save months or years of farming later. Plus, you get to hang out with us in Mumble while we ramble about weird fetishes during the eternity it takes for Galakras to land.

Over the past few months, we've carried quite a few guests through SoO, and they always have a great time with us. Enter for your chance at a fun-filled night of virtual shenanigans. Make sure to check the forum post for all of the fine print, and watch the show on the 26th for the password and how to join the lottery and possibly win!

See you in raid!