Sunday, June 22, 2014

Post-Traumatic Progression Disorder

Hello. This is Barkath, Avia's voidwalker. I wanted to inform her readers that, due to a five hour stretch of wiping in Veteran Skullcano in Wildstar, there is, what you would call, a "situation." Rather than reverting back to WoW like a good little casual, she has regressed back many more years to a far earlier, far worse state of gaming docility.

She is playing Neopets.


As we speak, she is dressing up sickenly "cute" animals in tiny hats and shoes and pampering them with spa treatments. She reads her pets books, feeds them puddings, and grooms their furry faces with pink powder puffs to make them "happy." Hours can go by, during which all she will do is watch with glazed eyes as a farm of insects obediently collects wood and pollen for her. And perhaps most horrifying of all, instead of fighting off the minions of the Sha in Pandaria with wanton bloodlust, she is playing a Neopets' turn-based mini-RPG. Turn-based!

As her enslaved yet moderately loyal servant, I urge anyone who can help to try to pull her out of this sad psychotic break and bring her gaming identity back to a more current, mature, and hardcore state. Or euthanize her in fel flames. Either is fine with me.


P.S. NEOPETS! -Avia.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Wildstar made it easier to be a "Pie Vendor."

A guildie informed me of an amazing feature in Wildstar with which I'm going to have as much fun as possible in case the devs decide that it's abuse and remove it. After all, video games aren't about fun. They're about spending hours trying to figure out arbitary Gold objectives in buggy adventures. They're about learning to craft an item and then relying on RNG every single time to craft it again. They're about trying to click on the Commodities Exchange vendor when peoples' hoverbikes are camped on top of it. WTB collision detection.

Anyway, inspired by the fact that the first person to shell out the five gold to start our Wildstar guild went ahead and named it "CRISPY DONKEYTACOS," I found out that I can switch my nameplate affiliation with the name of one of my "Circles." They cost nothing to make, and I can have it say almost anything I want. Let the antics begin!

<Queen of Ratchet>
I never stop being queen of the goblins.

Professor Ayaliss
<Dept of Sentient Botany>
It seems pretty important to study talking vegetables.

<and the Snowmen>
Performing at my home lot every Saturday night.

 Ayaliss, PhD
<Free Pelvic Exams>
Gloves optional.


Sunday, June 8, 2014

I only watched enough Azeroth Choppers to see the results.

Having ripped myself away from Wildstar for a minute, I'm just dropping by to say how disappointed I am that the Horde chopper won. This isn't Alliance bias, and it's not because I think the Alliance chopper looked better, because it didn't. It's that even with all the player complaints that Blizzard does nothing but re-skin old models and never gives us anything new and unique, we all went ahead and voted the bike that's more aesthetically pleasing but at the same time less refreshing in design.

Personally, I thought the Horde bike looked a lot better in color and sleekness of shape, but it is too similar to the ones that we already have. On the other hand, the Alliance bike, while it could pass for a tricked out snowmobile, was the opportunity to get a completely original model into our game. Even though I'll enjoy having the Horde chopper in all of its boring attractiveness, it still feels like we lost out.

inb4 we get both.