Sunday, June 22, 2014

Post-Traumatic Progression Disorder

Hello. This is Barkath, Avia's voidwalker. I wanted to inform her readers that, due to a five hour stretch of wiping in Veteran Skullcano in Wildstar, there is, what you would call, a "situation." Rather than reverting back to WoW like a good little casual, she has regressed back many more years to a far earlier, far worse state of gaming docility.

She is playing Neopets.


As we speak, she is dressing up sickenly "cute" animals in tiny hats and shoes and pampering them with spa treatments. She reads her pets books, feeds them puddings, and grooms their furry faces with pink powder puffs to make them "happy." Hours can go by, during which all she will do is watch with glazed eyes as a farm of insects obediently collects wood and pollen for her. And perhaps most horrifying of all, instead of fighting off the minions of the Sha in Pandaria with wanton bloodlust, she is playing a Neopets' turn-based mini-RPG. Turn-based!

As her enslaved yet moderately loyal servant, I urge anyone who can help to try to pull her out of this sad psychotic break and bring her gaming identity back to a more current, mature, and hardcore state. Or euthanize her in fel flames. Either is fine with me.


P.S. NEOPETS! -Avia.

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