Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Guild motto: Awesome on accident.

Yesterday, my raid group and I got the Not an Ambi-Turner achievement. ON PURPOSE!

Why the distinction? For my guild, one has to specify whether we meant to do something or we just fucked up so badly that we made a fight hard-mode unwittingly. Last week, we got Ragnar-O's, not because we're super badass and spit in the face of the hardest boss in the game, but because so many DPS had died by the last phase that we ended up with EIGHT meteors at the end of the fight. Even I think that's retarded, and I was there.

When BWD was current, we got Aberrant Behavior without planning on it because the melee didn't bother kicking any of the add casts. It was three minutes of "kick the fucking aberrations! The off-tank is going to diiie!" followed by "oh cool we got an achievement." It makes the ulcers worthwhile, I suppose.

If only more achievements were based on negligence rather than strategy or attentiveness. We've already given up on Do a Barrel Roll! without ever seriously considering it, because there is no serious consideration of that achieve for a group of 25 tunnel-visioning space cases like us. We've even managed to fail Only the Penitent every single week since the release of Firelands despite our pleading that the (virtually) uncoordinated stay behind just STAY BEHIND THE LINE FOR THE LOVE OF CENARIUS!

But alas.

Maybe next week.


Monday, August 29, 2011

All I have is PvP achieves left now. :(

Dancing all day every day.
Some achievements are tough, and some of them take a long ass time, but last week I finally got an achievement that was practically a year in the making.

Gurubashi Arena Grand Master.

Yea, I know. It takes no skill and two days to accomplish. In theory. But if you're the kind of person who gets easily distracted jumping around Stormwind and then looks at the clock to realize that you missed the chest by thirty minutes AGAIN, two days potentially turns into months of cursing at yourself every three hours.

Eventually, I had to start recruiting people, not only to come with me to do the PvP nonsense, but also just to remind me that it was almost time to head to STV, to which I always responded, "OH YEA!!!" Because god forbid I ever remember on my own.

Aside from being an unforgivably (lol) inconvenient achievement, it got worse the closer I came to being done, because by the end, I had 11 of those non-stacking quest items taking up precious space in my bank. This is during all the hype about transmogrification when I'm scrambling to find empty bank slots for lowbie belts in five colors and trying to keep my inventory clear so I can do more BRD coffer runs without stopping at the vendor. I didn't get in-game rich by leaving trash items to rot!

But it's finally done. I swooped down on the Gurubashi Arena for the last time with a whole posse to protect me as I looted my final chest. Wearing my PvP gear from last season with a whole 2k resilience, I started the channel that would open the chest and lead me to 10 glorious achievement points...

And then I got backstabbed by a level 84 rogue.

We owned him.


Sunday, August 21, 2011

Patch 4.3 is going to be so fab.

Outfits aren't just for ERP anymore.

Deathwing is coming, but nobody cares because everyone is busy pulling out the RP clothes they denied having all this time. The news of transmogrification has turned everyone in WoW metro, and it is highly amusing, at least for me. The typical vent chatter for my guild has veered away from vulgar yet clever threats on the integrity of people's sphincters to what instances someone has to run to get a matching belt and hat for his maroon robe. If only this was permanent. My GM is way too fond of assholes and vomit.

As for me, I of course already owned several sets of town clothes before the news hit though I do have to go back to BWL for all the Nemesis I vendored in Wrath. Also, since the items need to have some kind of stat to work, I'm on the lookout for a replacement for my Knitted Sandals that don't look like a fashion faux pas.

With my infinitely wise delegation of my free time, I composed a little wishlist of loot with the instances I need. Together with my guildies, I've run every BC raid for the week with moderate success. I'm growing slightly obsessed with the sword that drops off of M'uru because it'd be the perfect weapon for my priestly/Light-wielding, worgen persecutor set, and I want it sooo badly. My friend asked why I don't just buy the Season 4 rogue weapon with the same model for 200 honor, but the colors are all wrong. The COLORS!

I've never felt so in tune with well-groomed twenty-something heterosexual men before.


Sunday, August 14, 2011

Self-loathing geeks are the worst.

Remember when I talked about that WoW New York City Meetup group I wanted to join? I did actually join it for a month though I didn't participate much apart from rolling a DK on their server. The only event they organized during that time was a Central Park picnic, but they made it at 11AM on a Saturday like wtf? Yea yea, kosher daytime activities are cute, but only in theory. Theoretically, I can wake up before noon, but real-life conditions are prone to systematic error, i.e. oversleeping, every time. It's science, y0.

Anyway, when the group posted the next Meetup event, at first I was excited that it would be at 7PM. Hooray! Bowling sucks, but whatevs I'll be awake! Then I saw it's on a Thursday, and I :('d again, because that's my raid night. Wanting to let them know that I wouldn't be able to make it, I posted a comment with my disappointing news.

Notice it says "former member."

What the fuck? Did I just get laughed at for playing WoW by someone who plays WoW? That's like a person with Down's Syndrome laughing at an autistic kid.

I don't know why this girl thinks there's some kind of geek hierarchy in which her degree of dedication or the manner in which she plays determines how much better she is than other geeks. News flash for you, bitch: if you play WoW, you're a loser like the rest of us. You can rationalize all you want that you're not a lifeless gamer because you have a job or because you've never worked around a raid schedule, but at the end of the day, you use a pixelated character to fight dragons, and that makes you a fucking loser. You could at least be proud of it and not take out your insecurity on fellow gamers.

This asshat needs to get off her high mount before she says something stupid in trade chat like "I'm not 12. I'm 14!" and everyone laughs at her.

Because that's pretty much what she said.