Thursday, April 16, 2015

They must be better at cleaning up than succeeding at 95% missions.

Twenty-one mine work orders go through the roof of this lean-to.

This past weekend, my boyfriend came to visit for six days, and I pretty much took a mini-vacation from logging into WoW since I was busy shopping in Hollywood, going to the beach, and watching him eat his weight in gourmet hamburgers and vanilla fudge while wondering by how many years exactly I'm going to outlive him. When I finally logged in for raid on Tuesday night, my garrison was in an eerie state of decency. My work orders were neatly piled up and waiting for me to retrieve them, and my followers were doing their usual rounds of the property and waving hello as I discretely scanned their necks for hickies and tried to discern any hints of alcohol wafting from their seemingly sober persons. The barracks were free of any toilet paper strewn around their towers, none of the gold gathered from missions was missing, and the outhouse wasn't knocked over. After six days without their commander constantly coming and going with super serial concerns about war and ambiguous but necessary resources, I half-expected to find the center fountain playing host to a clothing-optional pool party/bubble bath with Ziri'ak stuck holding a tray of champagne. Yet, as I leaned over my missions table with Lieutenant Thorn greeting my return with a smile, it looked like my charges had kept everything in complete order.

What a bunch of squares.


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