Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Top 4 crushes of all time or just the weirdest ones?

I'm going to go ahead and speak for everyone and say that we've all had our little crushes on game characters or comic book heroes or anthropomorphic cartoons. Today, I've decided to list a few of my own crushes that stand out in my mind.

4. Malygos (Warcraft universe)

It wasn't that I had a crush on a dragon per se. Rather, the antics of the aforementioned war-mongering bitch Alexstrasza led me to think about how hard things must have been for him: losing all of his children, all of those years alone with his madness, coming out of it only to see the short-lived races irresponsibly unleashing magic on the world like ants destroying a picnic. I guess I felt sorry enough for him to throw him a hypothetical pity lay. Besides, seeing as how he drove Keristrasza insane, he must be really kinky in bed.

3. Hershel Layton (Professor Layton series)

Ever since Curious Village, I've been in love with this English gentleman, and who could resist? He's super smart, willing to face danger in order to solve a mystery, polite and kind to everyone, and super smart! Plus, he has that type of tragic love story that people tend to romanticize. On top of all of that, he's just damn handsome. I mean just look at those beady little eyes and that thin-lined smile and his rectangular head with rounded corners... Wait... I'm just naming lines and shapes.

Sexy lines and shapes.

2. Mai Shiranui (Fatal Fury)

This crush is a little embarrassing since apart from her skimpy outfit barely covering her giant boobs, I'm now having a little trouble thinking of what else I could have been attracted to about her.


It was the boobs.

1. Fox McCloud (Star Fox)

With the best gaming OST ever made as the soundtrack for our love in space, this rebel fox and his polygonal ship melted my 8-year-old heart with his chaotic good opposition to greater evil and his loyalty to his friends. I remember finding out in the Nintendo Power comics that he was in a relationship with Fara Phoenix and feeling absolutely crushed. It was the first time I had ever experienced that kind of jealousy, and it was towards an animated anthropomorphic fox. My feelings for him have gradually subsided into a smoldering ember of what it used to be, but every now and then, it flares right back up again into a nerdy flame of RP desire even twenty years later.


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