Thursday, January 19, 2012

I'm either really good at bragging or just really bad at flirting.

Besides my widely-popular and world-famous WoW blog that you are reading right now, Ms. rhymes with Moldavia a.k.a. Avia a.k.a. "the lag lock" is also a New York City creative writer who happens to have a reading tomorrow January 20th at Happy Ending Lounge. Yes, it's a bar called Happy Ending in Chinatown. People used to get happy endings there, but now they just get drunk while listening to up-and-coming fiction writers and watching burlesque dancers take their clothes off. That might have been a little redundant, but I wanted to emphasize the fact that if you come to see me read, you will also get a strip tease while drinking in a former massage+ parlor. Details here.

A new officer in my guild is now posting WorldofLogs for us. Admittedly, I never really cared about logs and rankings before since I consider it a job well done if the boss dies and I did an adequate job at dealing damage and staying alive. Don't get me wrong; I'm no casual. I research the theorycrafting as much as the next loser with a skewed conception of priorities, but I'm pretty satisfied with my performance as long as I'm not getting outDPS'd by mages or dying to easysauce mechanics like every tunnel-visioning idiot on Ultraxion. However, our poor performance in Dragon Soul has prompted guild management to perform an audit on all the DPS to ensure we're not doing anything stupid like forgetting cooldowns or using the wrong spells, and it has led to an increase in the already rampant epeen swinging among the classic epeen swingers, the raid DPS.

Apparently, it is necessary after every boss kill for someone to whisper me and talk about how he beat someone else in the meter, to which I casually reply something along the lines of "I don't give a fuck." Except... lately, I'm starting to do the exact same thing. When I'm in the top 3, my usual sense of accomplishment also possesses an inlaid feeling of conquest over others, and when I do terrible damage, I find myself feeling wholly unattractive and inadequate. Somehow, my performance according to Skada has merged itself with my self-concept of sexual prowess to the point where I was on a date this week and I tried to impress the guy by telling him that I was 90th in the world. He was really confused.

Someone save me from my own psyche. Plzkthx.


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