Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Putting a little extra effort into your AFK

Parking one's main in the middle of a capital city with all of its raid gear on has been the traditional way to idle since Vanilla, but today I am going to divulge my very secret favorite spots to semi-AFK while waiting in a DPS queue or watching Netflix. I encourage everyone to explore Azeroth in a similar fashion so they can find their ideal home bases that satisfy various individual needs and make their guilds wonder why they are always sitting in the middle of nowhere. Plus, I don't need everyone cramping my spots.

1. Right outside of Shrine

Nothing beats Shrine for meeting all the necessary criteria like city portals, banking, and vendors. However, there's also that annoying trade chat, and I don't need to be lowering my IQ with idiotic arguments and anal chat all day. Thus, here is my favorite place to idle: the now sha-corrupted lake with the forlorn crab right outside of the two Shrines. All the convenience of a capital city is a short flight away whenever I need to find a group hire a crafter check on idiotic arguments, and in the meantime, I can enjoy the relative quiet of my perch like retreating to a suburb on the outskirts of a metropolis.

2. Sunsong Ranch

I did buy it from Farmer Yoon, after all, so it's technically my house. Where else in the world (of Warcraft) can one say that? As a hero of the Alliance, I spend most of my time raiding dangerous dungeons or setting up in inns and sleeping in beds that thousands of warriors have slept in before, and who knows how often they change the sheets? But Tina Mudclaw comes by the ranch house every once in a while to sweep the floor and feed the pigs, and I can relax on MY own personal bed and pet MY unnamed dog while watching the fireflies on MY table. It's enough to make me want to sell my imaginary RP house in South Desolace; that goblin caravan hates delivering supplies to my demon-infested part of the neighborhood.

3. Pride Rock

4. Moonglade

Especially confusing if I'm not on my druid, even the lowbies that randomly stumble upon this zone because they got lost on the way to Winterspring are surprised that I'm there moonbathing by the lake.

Level 45 rogue: What do I do here?
Me, meditating at Lake Elune'ara: Nothing.
Level 45 rogue: No, seriously. Is there a quest?
Me, the serene hermit: Continue on, my son. This is not the place you seek.

5. Guard duty in various low-level zones

If a full set of heroic raid gear is going to be good for anything, it's definitely world PVP, and as anyone who has leveled with CRZ knows, both the Alliance and Horde are rife with rogue soldiers going on killing sprees of quest-giving civilians in towns 70 levels beneath them. Do not fear, citizens, for if I'm going to idle in one place, it might as well be in the skies over Darkshire, ready to swoop down on any unsuspecting no-lifer with nothing to do while their arena partner is out getting laid. Sure, you still have to wait for your NPCs to respawn, but with any hope, my massive epeen will have shot demonic flames so violently that it burned their tiny giblets into fel dust that I can use to power my warlock rituals, and they will crawl away back to Orgrimmar whimpering and holding their singed groins.

As long as they're as terrible at PVP as I am.


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