Friday, February 10, 2012

I'm a liberal flower-picking hippie. Of course I have to care about this stuff.

The "Love is in the Air" holiday is so
gayovertly effeminate.

Oddly masculine...
Having played an MMO for five years, I've found that lately my vocabulary has been not so politically correct. Yes, "gay" does not necessarily denote a derogatory reference to homosexuals, and using the word to describe an in-game holiday that involves presenting faction leaders charm bracelets to receive pink cards does not make me a bigot. But as any post-structuralist will purport, language not only expresses what people feel, it also actively affects how they think until "just kidding, I know women don't exist to make me sammiches" turns into someone with a "make me a sammich" mentality for reals.

Unfortunately, certain words and phrases have become key elements in our, the MMO geeks', vocabulary, and we do need them to function and communicate our thoughts effectively. Lucky for you, my dear reader, I have taken the liberty of egalitarianizing common expressions to be more PC. I hope you will find these useful in your everyday dealings as a modern gamer.

Situation: Complaining about the nerfed state of WoW.
Not this: "And I was like hurrdurr move out of fire."
But this: "The game is so casual now that the mechanics are nothing but simple things like moving out of fire."

Situation: Gold farmers spamming trade.
Not this: "DIAF Chinaman."
But this: "Though we recognize that it is your livelihood to sell gold, it is inconvenient for us that you spam multiple chat channels and /yell concurrently."

Situation: Pugging with Latin American servers.
Not this: "Is everyone on Quel'Thalas fucking bad?!"
But this: "Because of the language barrier, I do not enjoy playing with people from Quel'Thalas since I cannot instruct them on how to prevent the adds on Corla from evolving. Repeatedly."

Situation: Interacting with girl gamers.
Not this: "Tits or GTFO."
But this: "I understand that you as a female will not gratify me by showing me your breasts, but I will be content in appreciating you as a player for your leet deeps."

Yea, they're kind of lengthy. Make macros.


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