This is why I barred myself from the internet to read Harry Potter 6.

So I've been waiting since July of last year to read Thrall: Twilight of the Aspects because I'm too cheap to buy a hardcover, and one month before the paperback is finally going to be released, I happened to browse through Wowpedia only to get smacked in the face with a goddamn spoiler. I'm assuming that all of you either disregarded the seven dollar difference in price and read the book promptly, are smart enough to have read it for free by sitting in Barnes & Noble, or don't give a damn about esoteric game lore. Stop reading here if you're just a dumbass like me.

...

They fucking killed Krasus!

Admittedly, he was never a very important character. The only time the player really interacts with him is when s/he flies up to the to of Wyrmrest Temple for the first time to ogle the Dragon Queen and realizes that the stoically quiet "elf" standing next to her is her boy toy. But he seemed like a cool guy. He didn't have a problem being second-in-command to a powerful woman. He was progressive like that. Plus, he must have been amazing in bed to be an Aspect's consort. It doesn't matter now though because Blizzard killed him. What did he ever do to you, Christie Golden?!

And the worst part is that now I feel really REALLY bad for Alexstrasza. I've already written about how I think she's a warmongering bitch who is playing the Horde and Alliance as pawns in her grand murderous schemes, but now that Blizzard has finally succeeded in killing off all of her lovers, I just want to give her a tissue and a hug. Like... damn. She had four consorts, life partners and fathers to her children, and now they're all dead. Blizz, you are just a bunch of heartless bastards. Give the girl a break.

By the way, I still haven't read the book. I already waited this long; might as well stick it out another two weeks. Like a dumbass.

-Avia.

A Bone to Pick with WoW's Greatest Villain

Out of all the characters in WoW I could have a vendetta against, the one who I think is the most evil, conniving, and deserving of being blown up by a raid team is…

Alexstrasza.

Yup, the Life-Binder herself. While everyone else may consider her to be the quintessence of good and compassion for life in the Warcraft universe, I see her for what she really is: a warmonger.

Hey, hear me out! I wasn’t always so disenchanted with the Dragon Queen. In the Wrath expansion, I enthusiastically joined the army of heroes in the battle against Malygos at her call. After all, the logic was sound; Malygos’s twisted outlook on magic “abuse” was a danger to mortals on Azeroth, and killing him was for the greater good in order to save a larger number of lives. I felt the same satisfaction I always feel after defeating a major raid boss, like I played an integral part in the future safety of Azeroth. Completing the Eye of Eternity definitely provided better satisfaction than the bittersweet end to the Lich King, when all we did was kill an evil Arthas just to swap in a good guy in his place and trap Bolvar there forever. Goddamnit.

But then Cataclysm came, and Alexstrasza had turned right around, pointed at someone else, and told all of us our next target. Wtf? We just killed someone for you in the last expansion. Suddenly I felt like I was a pawn in her own personal vendettas against her old friends. Why are we, heroes of the Alliance and Horde, peons of the Dragon Queen in her violent yet well-reasoned grudges?

Despite the destruction that Deathwing wrought merely emerging out of the planet, Alexstrasza’s newly redirected battle plans made me suspicious of her motives, and it also made me rethink what I had done in the past under her command. I had so willingly fought against Malygos with no doubt whatsoever that I was doing the right thing, but now I wonder if Alexstrasza was just using me to get rid of someone with whom she had issues. I wonder if she’s using us now in the same way.

So far, the lore gives no hint of malice in Alexstrasza’s character, so for the player, there shouldn’t be any doubt that Deathwing has to die just like Malygos’s death was necessary to save lives. But if there’s anyone in WoW that makes me doubt the sincerity of intentions, it’s her. It’s so easy to use “for the greater good” logic to rationalize murder, and she does it time and again, like so many of our foes have done before, including Malygos. This time around, I feel hesitant at the prospect of being a savior of Azeroth when I’m not quite sure that my enemy deserves the death everyone else says he does.

-Avia.

CAT FIGHT!!!

With Patch 4.2 coming, I’ve been so caught up lately in final preparations. Honestly, all the casters are caught up in final preparations: transmuting truegolds, collecting chaos orbs, and generally anticipating becoming the first player chosen by our guild leader to wield the new legendary staff, the first caster legendary since vanilla. We’re all overly optimistic for sure.

With all that going on, I had just managed to watch the Firelands trailer a few days ago and I was PISSED! I had heard rumors that Thrall had a new girlfriend, but when I saw him wrap his arm around Aggra’s waist, my eyes popped out of their sockets and tried to ocularly bitch slap her.

Obviously, I’m upset that my favorite character in WoW lore is now taken. For some reason, Thrall seemed the type to be an eligible bachelor forever, asexually placing the needs of others before himself, like an orc Yoda. Plus, once he and Aggra have a child, he’s at greater risk of being killed off by the Blizzard developers, because you know they looove orphans.

Hungry for more information on this new woman, I bought and read The Shattering, which I had been meaning to read, but raiding (and school, maybe) has been my main priority for a few months. I won’t be spoiling anything by mentioning that the story of how they meet is pretty unspectacular: the usual “don’t get along at first but then grow accustomed to each other’s complementary personalities and fall in love” type of deal. What I found really sad was that a shamanic advisor mentions Jaina as a perfect mate for Thrall if only she wasn’t human. Despite the whole mixed-race(lol) thing, Jaina and Thrall were supposed to be WoW’s couple, and their denial of each other because of their differences irritated the hell out of me. Now Jaina will forever be the Other Woman, and I’ll have to figure out in my rampant imagination who she will hook up with in the end.

The rest of the book was amazing, by the way, and I highly recommend reading it. My choice for star of the show: Anduin Wrynn. Who knew he would grow up to be such a compassionate little cupcake? I think I found my new crush.

-Avia.