I'm either really good at bragging or just really bad at flirting.

Besides my widely-popular and world-famous WoW blog that you are reading right now, Ms. rhymes with Moldavia a.k.a. Avia a.k.a. "the lag lock" is also a New York City creative writer who happens to have a reading tomorrow January 20th at Happy Ending Lounge. Yes, it's a bar called Happy Ending in Chinatown. People used to get happy endings there, but now they just get drunk while listening to up-and-coming fiction writers and watching burlesque dancers take their clothes off. That might have been a little redundant, but I wanted to emphasize the fact that if you come to see me read, you will also get a strip tease while drinking in a former massage+ parlor. Details here.

A new officer in my guild is now posting WorldofLogs for us. Admittedly, I never really cared about logs and rankings before since I consider it a job well done if the boss dies and I did an adequate job at dealing damage and staying alive. Don't get me wrong; I'm no casual. I research the theorycrafting as much as the next loser with a skewed conception of priorities, but I'm pretty satisfied with my performance as long as I'm not getting outDPS'd by mages or dying to easysauce mechanics like every tunnel-visioning idiot on Ultraxion. However, our poor performance in Dragon Soul has prompted guild management to perform an audit on all the DPS to ensure we're not doing anything stupid like forgetting cooldowns or using the wrong spells, and it has led to an increase in the already rampant epeen swinging among the classic epeen swingers, the raid DPS.

Apparently, it is necessary after every boss kill for someone to whisper me and talk about how he beat someone else in the meter, to which I casually reply something along the lines of "I don't give a fuck." Except... lately, I'm starting to do the exact same thing. When I'm in the top 3, my usual sense of accomplishment also possesses an inlaid feeling of conquest over others, and when I do terrible damage, I find myself feeling wholly unattractive and inadequate. Somehow, my performance according to Skada has merged itself with my self-concept of sexual prowess to the point where I was on a date this week and I tried to impress the guy by telling him that I was 90th in the world. He was really confused.

Someone save me from my own psyche. Plzkthx.

-Avia.

The end of a year... and an expansion.

My guild hasn't been doing anywhere near as well in Dragon Soul as we did in Firelands. After we reached the
DPShealidiot check that is Ultraxion and learned that a third of our team can't click a button that saves their lives, we lost a bunch of core members to a mass server transfer and had to fill spots with our
benchnew recruitsincompetent casuals for a week. We only just downed Deathwing on Thursday and it was... anticlimactic. I'd already seen the grand finale cut scene thanks to easy-mode LFR in which I "won the game" with thirty minutes of minimal effort. Even the comforting and encouraging words from Thrall didn't uplift my warrior spirit since I knew I didn't deserve them. Usually, it takes at least a couple weeks of dedicated teamwork to get some cool RP that makes the player feel like her efforts contributed to the safety of Azeroth. Yet, I got to celebrate the end of the Cataclysm with... random fucks from Whisperwind server. I couldn't even jump up and down and hug anyone without feeling like a creeper.

In real life news, I'm on winter break, so I have four weeks to
apply to internshipslearn a foreign languagecamp rare spawns in Outlands. I've also been trying to gear up my druid alt, but I've had little success due to the following well-known rules of RNG:

1. Your main will never roll higher than a 35 on important loot.
2. Your alt will roll better than your main...
3. But your second alt will get all rare pets and mounts and win gear upgrades that boost ilvl by 10 points at a time.

My fourth 85, a god-awful ret pally that forgets to use its cooldowns, is now better geared than my precious druid healer that I actually leveled to play rather than be my disenchanting slave. Every time my druid loses a roll, I sigh in knowing resignation, and every time I win a roll on my pally, I want to quit WoW and start buying winning lottery tickets for people I don't care about.

Anyway, in a few days, it's going to be my favorite holiday! I'll be doing my usual New Year's Eve thang of going out to
danceget fucked up and danceget REALLY fucked up and dance. Then the next day, I'm going to to bow to my elders and get cash.

Being Korean is awesome.

-Avia.

P.S. Aggra is pregnant. Thrall better watch his back.