Guide to 6.0 Pre-Patch Shenanigans by RP Your Life!

Inevitably, patch day is always a hectic and busy affair. When the servers came up yesterday, I had to get in all of the new quests, prepare my gear for raid, and then fight bosses with new spell rotations and adjusted mechanics. Over the past few weeks, every WoW fan-site in existence has published a guide for surviving the WoD pre-patch. I might be a little late now, but I have a little 6.0 pre-patch guide of my own. However, forget all of the class changes, UI improvements, and new features that are baffling everyone, because my guide doesn't address any of that. In fact, there is only one major bullet point:

Iron Starlettes

Take a page from Neopets (if it would load) and hoard a bunch of a semi-retired item. It might take seven years, but they will eventually inflate in value enough for you to get sick of them taking up space in your guild bank, and then you can sell each of them off for a MASSIVE 20g profit. Go ahead and do the Iron Invasion quest chain on every single 90 that you have. Compared to Gahz'rooki's world tour of Azeroth, it takes about ten minutes to get one of these seemingly non-sentient balls of metal that somehow know how to Pokébattle, and it will be ten minutes spent investing in your (very distant) future.

Leave it to RP Your Life! to touch upon the important issues for YOU!

-Avia.

Camp camp camp camp.

Day 7

I have set up camp on a patch of grass on the banks of the Blood Pools. Already, it has been five days since I enticed an albatross to carry me up to this isolated lake, and I have spent every waking hour waiting for the red-stained water elements to coalesce into an angry spirit named Garnia. Plenty of other heroes have joined me, occasionally dropping down from the sky in a shared attempt to acquire a living droplet of the spirit. The constant sunset of the Timeless Isle makes the days run together, and I sometimes lose myself staring into the shallow water until the sound of battle rouses me. I have been living on grass and Imperial Silk sandwiches for two days.

Day 16

Though I have escaped the Blood Pools and rejoined the war against the Yaungol on the main isle, the great black serpent that circles the Blazing Way has been tempting me with the prospect of harnessing his power between my legs. I have seen many people try to subdue him, only to receive a breath of lightning to the face, forcefully sprayed from the mouth of the long sinewy beast. I must figure out how to coax the black dragon into letting me ride him. Hopefully, I can handle such a large and wild cloud serpent and do not end up bucked off or ripped in twain.

Day 27

I am on the hunt for a jade fire spirit. The Cave of Lost Spirits is damp, winding, and full of dangerous creatures. Everywhere I turn, there are mysterious magical fires, powerful living flames, and strange shambling lake creatures. The conditions in this cave are borderline unbearable, but I will not falter. I am ready to camp for weeks if that is what it takes to... OH CRAP THE DARKMOON FAIRE!

Day 27

There'sh a lot of wolvesh and a lot of boozezez.

-Avia.